About After Hours

About After Hours

A look at the campfire regulars

Before Phones

Phone-eating Dinosaur
But why he (probably) won't eat yours

Why does Dino eat smart phones?

Let’s just say – it’s complicated.

Don’t be afraid – Dino (probably) won’t eat your phone

For one, he’s just hungry and not only are phones very abundant in the After Phone (AP) era – nobody else is eating them. Another reason: Dino craves the chance and will do anything to get back to the geologic epoch known as Before Phone (BP). The way he sees it – the more phones he eats the greater chance he has to recreate the “pre-phones” conditions of the period during which he thrived. It was a time of Great Phonelesslness. Why else does Dino eat phones? In a word, Boogie. Dino has a evolutionary-refined sense of smell for the dreaded Boogie Phone.

What is the Boogie Phone?

Or rather who is the Boogie Phone. Let’s just say he’s always lurking. And usually closer than you think. Click here to find out more, or simply read the post below. And most of all don’t forget to listen to what Dino has to say in video above.

More than just a Rock
Introducing Rock E

You know the old expression:

“If the walls could talk.”

Available on Apple Podcasts and Podbean

In the Everglades, the same applies to the rocks, but with a twist: Even when people notice them they are just as quickly ignored. The reason? It probably has something to do with all the other sights — wading birds, alligators, flowers … the list goes on. Also factoring in is the flatness of the landscape and the fact that most of the underlying rock is covered with water or a layer of peat. Another knock against Everglades rocks: There are really no scenic outcrops or dramatic geologic outlooks.

I’m not saying you have to forget that other stuff, but we can’t forget that the underlying limestone forms the foundation of it all. And rocks, believe it or not, are a lot more charismatic than you think.

And if you don’t believe me, watch the above video and listen to what “Rock E” has to say. I think you’ll be impressed.

animation bunker

Eerie Silence
In the Bunker with Buck Buckner

When does a peaceful quiet …

Turn into an eerie silence?

Buck’s radio show is peppered with campfire breaks

With Halloween so close, it may be the perfect time to find out. A silence can be quite peaceful, but it can also be eerie, too. But how do you distinguish between the two? Fortunately, AM radio host Buck Buckner is on hand to tackle the question as only Buck can.

More about In The Bunker. Basically, Buck is an expert on many (many) topics, that’s why he has a radio show. What makes Buck’s show particularly unique is that he broadcasts from a remote bunker hidden deep in the woods (rumored but never confirmed to be somewhere in Campfire Park). Buck’s biggest pet peeve is the “fringe middle” and their unnerving silence. So who not more perfect to address this topic. His passions include searching for Bigfoot and hosting an occasional guest.

About Campfire Breaks: Campfire Breaks are like commercial breaks, but instead of selling an idea they touch on a campfire-inspired idea.

So without further ado, kick back and enjoy Buck’s radio show.


Boogie Phone Pop Quiz
Test your phone knowledge

Yes, we all have phones …

But are you using yours correctly?

Boogie Quiz

Boogie wants you to test your phone knowledge

Take Test Now

  1. When is it appropriate to giddily text back and forth with someone? a. While driving on a multi-lane highway b. In a meeting (as long as you pretend it’s “important business”) c. While someone else is trying to talk to you “in person” d. At the dinner table with your family e. All the above
  2. How often should you check your newsfeed? a. About every hour, so long as it’s a slow news day b. Whenever you pick up your phone c. Multiple times per hour d. Whenever you’re bored or unmotivated to do something else e. All of the above
  3. What’s your least favorite thing to do with your phone? a. Take a selfie b. Talk to a person c. Social media d. Contribute to Big Data e. Google search
  4. When should you not have your phone? a. Never b. At the dinner table c. While sleeping d. While exercising e. While swimming in the ocean

See answer key at the bottom

And remember, proper phone usage is a key to a happy and healthy life. That means putting the phone first (and sometimes even second) and everything else third, if not even fourth.

This public service announcement is brought to you by:

Answer Key 1e, 2e, 3b, 4a

1 Comment, via Twitter


Toot too far
A guide for proper horn usage

Have you ever been unnerved …

By an unexpected blast of a car horn in your general direction.

Uncle & Uncle is in your corner

And if so, did that toot cause you to momentarily lose your anger, or lose your train of thought? Worry not, and rest assured: Uncle & Uncle is in your corner, where they settle petty differences and trivial situations in you favor at a reasonable price. At 1-UNCLE-UNCLE, they’ll not only surround you with peaceful sounds, they’ll take care of whoever beeped the errant horn.

Don’t let the beep cause you to lose sleep – Call Your Uncle!

Fine print: Terms and conditions may apply

Introducing Cap’n Killivine
Time for a handwriting workout

My name is Cap’n Killivine …

And I have a confession to make:

Staying in good penmanshape is hard work

I somehow let an entire decade slip by without writing a single “handwritten” a note. The reason? You guessed it – the smart phone. The moment I got one, all I’ve been doing is “thumbing” texts ever since. As a result, my penmanship has seriously slipped. Looking in the mirror I feel like a nub of my former self. Or in other words, I’m in bad penmanshape.

Well, no longer! With the new year now here, I am fully committed to once and for all (and finally) getting back into good penmanshape. Find out more about my workout regimen below:

Cap’n Killivine in action

For now, the the best way to connect with me, Cap’n Killivine, and the rest of the gang at Nature Folk HQ, also found on the After Hours portion of the Go Hydrology website. In the meanwhile, pick up a blank piece of paper and pen and write yourself or someone else a good handwritten note. You’ll be amazed what you discover and how good you feel when you do.

Sincerely and Truly,

P.S. About my name: The term “killivine” is just a fancy name for a writing instrument, whether a pencil, pen or crayon. My favorite crayon color is Cerulean Blue.

P.P.S. And sorry to be so formal – it’s just been a long time since I’ve written a long-form letter like this.


Go to Penmanshape

Before Phones

About Before Phones
It was a time of Great Phonelessness

Granted, it was a bizarre time.

People actually had to talk to each other face to face.

Introducing Dino the phone-eating dinosaur

And there were only three channels on the TV.

As unpleasant as that sounds, somehow it worked (although I have my doubts).

Dino is just trying to understand modern life

But how exactly did people survive (even thrive) before phones?

Here at Before Phones (BP) “Where the Dinosaurs Roam” we explore the latest discoveries about the Pre-Phone era. Our methodologies include interviews with other dinosaurs, the latest archeological finds and a range of other innovative research techniques.

Mysteries We Explore

Nothing to fear, Dino will not harm you (but he may eat your phone)

Here at Before Phones (BP), we are dedicate to …

Trying to understand the cryptic pre-phone era.

Unresolved questions include:

  • How people drove without texting?
  • What is was like to have only 24 photos to a roll?
  • How people (dinosaurs) coped with the boredom?

Our Goal

Dino interviewing Steve the Brontosaurus

The pre-phone era also had its charm (so they say).

Our goal is to understand how society worked without everyone staring at their phone all day (and night).

  • To inform, inspire and educate about the pre-phone era
  • Feature guests from the Before Phone (BP) era
  • Continuously improve our understanding of phonelessness

Go To Before Phones

Boogie Phone

Introducing the Boogie Phone
Heir apparent to the Bogeyman

Just to be clear …

Yes, I am the Boogie Phone.

Boogie Phone
Introducing Boogie: Society’s new bogeyman

But I’m really not as bad as everyone says. By “everyone,” I mean whatever they’re saying on the internet. More about me: (1) Think of me as your most trusted advisor. Or in other words, don’t ask a friend – ask me! (2) In general, you should spend as much time with me as you can. When you’re bored, pick me up. (3) Think of me part friend and part hobby. Over time I hope to convince you I’m your only friend and only hobby.

Now time for the quiz:

(1) How often should you clean your phone? (a) once a day, (b) as needed, (c) never, (d) at least once a year. | (2) How much time should you spend on your phone (per day)? (a) up to but not to exceed 24 hours, (b) all waking hours, (c) as much as possible, (d) all the above. | (3) What’s the best place to get accurate news? (a) old-fashioned newspaper, (b) social media, (c) word of mouth, (d) AM radio, (e) search engine. | (4) True or false: Reading from a book strains your eyes? | See answer key below.


In summary: Over time I think you’ll truly come to see it my way. Really, I’m just your everyday all-around average friendly phone. Nothing to hide. And nothing to fear. Sort of like a rotary phone (with teeth … very sharp teeth).

Yours truly and at your service,

Answer Key: 1c, 2d, 3b, 4t

Boogie Phone

Go To Boogie Phone

Nature-friendly driver
Tortoise double passes slow-moving hare

What’s the right speed …

When you’re driving through nature?

Getting there fast is overrated

Answer: Somewhere between the velocity of the Tortoise and the Hare. And if we’ve learned anything from that fable: Going slower actually gets you there first. (Just ask the poor hare – he’s never won once! Once of these days the Hare is going to wisen up and challenge the Tortoise to a sprint.)

Reminder: Wherever you drive, forget to to keep a vigilant eye out for both, especially in roads that traverse conservation lands. Rabbits and turtles call those places home, and both too frequently are common roadkill.

Hare makes the headlines, but the Tortoise wins the race

Other advantages of going slow?

  • It increases your time to think and decompress.
  • More quality radio and audio book listening time.
  • You lead by example by showing other people how to drive.
  • Driving the speed limit is safer.
  • You probably save on gas.

P.S. And if run across any litter, pick it up. It does a place well to see it litter free.

How To: Ride the Water Cycle
The right and wrong way

Not to be mistaken …

With a giant bike in the sky.

Photo of bike taken at Oasis

The water cycle is more accurately represented …

By the water wheel below.

It receives water from the sky and sends it onto (and down into) the ground below (i.e. the aquifer).

Retired water wheel

Unlike the retired water wheel above,

The real hydrologic cycle is constantly in motion.

With no hope of retiring anytime soon.

flood and fire

Rise and fall (of flood and fire)
And why fire and water are the swamp's best friends

A very wise swamp rat once said:

“So goes flood and fire, so goes the swamp.”

Can you see the decadal shift in the swamp’s seasonal distribution of wildfire? Green are prescribed fires, red are arson and yellow lightning strikes.

And probably nothing explains how fire has changed …

In recent decades than the graph shown above.

Or check out the full presentation in the video below.

A brief history of flood and fire in the swamp

Everyone is always ready to blame the water …

For every Everglades woe.

But let’s not forget that fire is the flip side of the same coin.

A healthy swamp depends on getting both right.

Guardians of the surf
Or did red tide do them in?

Usually walking into the water is easy enough.

Maybe a sharp shell or two to mind, or an occasional pointy-tailed ray.

Big crab

And it wasn’t just the crabs I could see that were cause for concern.

Many more were lurking, buried in the sand beneath.

Small crab

In addition to the brigade of crabs,

We also saw a lobster.

For me at this beach, that was a first. Unfortunately, the reason for them being their was red tide fueled anoxic conditions where they normally dwell.

20-Yr Hydrologic Anniversary Report
Building a hydrologic baseline

Hydrologic monitoring just doesn’t happen.

It’s takes a lot of precision, team work, sweat equity (especially in the south Florida,) and perhaps the biggest chore of all – persistence. Hydrologic monitoring is the light at the tunnel that never ends.


That’s why when it comes to monitoring “milestones” are so important.

They give us a chance to reflect back on the past to see how far we’ve come, to review how the data is currently being used, and to look ahead into the future to refine our vision of where we want to go.

Twenty years ago Big Cypress Nat’l Preserve and the South Florida Water Management District embarked on a partnership with a goal of filling a void a in the hydrologic puzzle of the Greater Everglades Ecosystem where data was sparse or lacking scientific standards required by the water management community.

The results of that partnership are highlighted in this report.

Hydrograph of water depth in Big Cypress Nat’l Preserve

Simply click on the cover page pictured above to read the full report …

Or, if you like, please feel free to print out a paper copy of your very own, which I think you will find to be a worthy addition to any Big Cypress Swamp enthusiast’s bookshelf or better yet for coffee table display. (Note: the report prints nicely two-sided, front and back.)

Thank you to everyone who has been involved from Day One to Year Twenty and now into its third decade ahead:

Baseline monitoring is a long road, but always worth it in the end.